OK, sometimes, I draw a post from comments I leave on other blogs. And sometimes, (at least this once, anyway), I'll leave a responsive comment to someone else's comment on one of my own posts, that really deserves to be a post in its own right. A while back, I posted about a bizarre incident with my previous employer, in which an obscure (and irrelevant) corporate policy ended up trumping an opportunity to hire the single, ideal candidate for a position. My friend Suldog left a comment, which poked my perfervid brain for three more stories under the loose heading of 'Personnel Follies' (it seems that, just lately, I'm calling up a lot of old 'Work Stories', of which I haven't had many over the years; whatever). I hesitate to bid you 'enjoy', as all three of them are more like 'frustrating', or 'maddening', than 'enjoyable', but, you know. . .
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When I hired in to my first real engineering job, fresh out of college, I came into an engineering department that was a little unique, in that we had a clear and stark demographic split. The company was in the midst of a hiring boom, with several of us young engineers who had just gotten our degrees in the previous 2-3 years, and a group of older guys around my dad's age (in fact, one of the guys, who quickly became a good friend, was the father of a girl I'd known in college). For the most part, it was a very happy combination, and I was happy to learn from the practical experience of engineers who had been working for years, and had that practical sense of what works, and what doesn't, and what you need to pay particular attention to, even if they weren't up-to-speed on the latest-and-greatest hot methods and techniques that I'd seen in school. They were smart, solid, competent guys, and I learned a lot from them.
A few of the older guys didn't actually have engineering degrees, but had worked as engineers for years. They weren't doing anything that particularly required a degree - mainly just pushing papers (though I hasten to say that I do not mean that in the least to denigrate any of them). At a certain point, the company adopted a policy that they would only hire degreed engineers, which is understandable enough, and the older guys who'd been doing the job for years got grandfathered. It was understood that there were some things, involving more-than-thumbnail calculations, that the older, non-degreed guys weren't going to do, and nobody cared.
Then, some (no doubt very zealous) HR guy decided that we were no longer gonna have ANY non-degreed engineers (which, I understand, was probably more about PR to our customers than anything else), and anyone without a degree had two years to get one, or be 'reassigned'. So you had two or three guys who'd done their jobs, and done them capably, for many years, suddenly scrambling to get a diploma from Aunt Zelda's Mail-Order Engineering Night School, just so they could keep their jobs. When they should have been planning for their retirement, and time with their grandchildren, suddenly all their free time was diverted into going back to school, with all the attendant anxiety that their livelihood might be yanked away from them.
(*sigh*)
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In the same previous post, I mentioned our whiz-bang new CAD system, of which we were justly proud. When it was first installed, there was the matter of getting everyone trained, so we could start getting the bang for all the bucks we'd spent on it. When the training plan was assembled, among the very first group of trainees was a 62-year-old draftsman, who had already announced that he was retiring in six months. He was one of our best draftsmen, and his skill shone through every drawing he crafted. His lines were crisp, and his lettering beautiful, and he never missed a dimension. But he was 62, and retiring in six months. Old dogs and new tricks, and all that (which, I hasten to be clear, is not to denigrate him in the least)
There was absolutely NO need to train this poor guy at all. He could have gone his last six months at his drafting board, doing exactly what he'd done, and done well, for the previous 40 years, and the company would still have benefitted from his talent and skill. But, no. . . EVERYBODY was gonna get trained in the new CAD system, so he had to go to the front of the line, so he could get trained before he got away (no doubt, someone had made promises to top management about how many people they would train, so they couldn't have people retiring on them without getting trained, if they were gonna meet that headcount). So the poor guy got to spend his final months with the company in stress and anxiety, struggling with the new-fangled computer thingy that only barely made sense to him, and which he couldn't hope to master in the time he had left. And the hell of it was, the training schedule went more than six months out; it would have cost nothing to just let him skip it.
(I won't even mention how pissed my boss was that I had the nerve to schedule my wedding and honeymoon - six months before the fact, mind you, while the CAD system was still very much in its planning stages, and no-one was thinking about training schedules yet - in conflict with my own slot in the training schedule, causing my training to be delayed by two whole weeks; 'cuz, you know, if I were a really dedicated employee, I'd have gladly put off my honeymoon for the opportunity to get trained right away, right? . . .)
(BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA (*snort, cough*). . . I'm sorry. . . HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. . . OK, better now. . . (*snicker, chortle*). . . heehee. . . )
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The third (and, for purposes of this post, final) story is about the guy who came to us a couple months past his 60th birthday, when the company across town that he'd worked for all his life went under, and the owner absconded to the Cayman Islands with the pension fund. So he came to work for us.
Now, in those days, we had to work for ten years in order to get our pension vested, so his goal was to work for ten years, in order to get such meager pension as he could from our company, since the one he'd planned on was gone. But six months before he was due to retire, someone instituted a policy establishing 70 as the mandatory retirement age, period, end of story, no exceptions. And the new policy affected exactly one person in the entire company. This guy - this ONE GUY - was forced to retire a couple months before he could get his pension vested. It was like they put in the new policy to save one single bare-minimum pension. Or, put another way, to screw this one particular guy, who had already worked for 9.8 years, right up to his 70th birthday, just to try to get that pittance of a pension.
Some things just cry out for justice. . .
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As I read this over again, I am struck by the fact that all three stories relate to people at or near retirement age, and the end of their careers. And then I think that I am less than a decade from my own 65th birthday, with my own anxieties as to whether or not I'll be allowed to actually, you know, retire (at least, on my own terms), and what my finances will look like when I do. . .
In the immortal words of Alfred E. Newman: What, Me Worry?
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It seems as if the stupidity is getting worse, too, at least lately.
ReplyDeleteDidn't PT Barnum, or at least someone like him, say that no one ever went broke by underestimating the intelligence of the American public?
DeleteUgh! Meeting corporate bottom lines gets uglier and uglier just to stiff the working man.
ReplyDeleteWell, only the last one is about a working man getting stiffed, but still. . .
DeleteBean counters are not my favorite people.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that matter to them is numbers.
Yeah, it occurred to me that the other thing that all of these stories have in common is that all of 'em are instances of people being treated like something other than people. And aside from being stupid, that's just plain wicked. . .
DeleteIn re: retirement. I'm certainly glad I got out while the getting was good... or at least passable. Sometimes I worry about my sons, both of whom are retirement eligible right now. I'm not sure the military retirement system is going to survive (in its current form) in our Brave New World of sequestration and other budget woes. The same holds true for Social Security but I don't want to open THAT can o' worms.
ReplyDeleteAs for personnel peccadilloes... I've seen my share, as well. Once again: I'm glad I'm out of the game.
Yeah, 4M is a year away from getting his degree, and I wonder sometimes how he'll make his way thru the 40-or-so years of gainful employment, and what he'll have to show for it when he's done.
DeleteBut the day's own trouble is enough for the day, I suppose. . .
My dad was one of those engineers without a degree who was grandfathered in. He had worked for the same big communications company from age 18 to 57 when he took a buy-out. He got lucky!
ReplyDeleteIt was funny to hear him complain over the years that the newbies with degrees never knew what the hell they were doing. I think there's something to be said for starting hands on at the ground floor and working your way up. Doesn't happen very often these days.
Those old guys were a treasure, with all the hands-on experience they'd gained over the years. A fancy degree is nice, and I'm glad I've got a couple, but, as your dad well knew, there's no substitute for experience, and I was glad to have had the benefit of theirs. . .
DeleteBack at Huuge Inc mid-career employees became 'Resources' and, well, became disposable. I knew many who were dumped pre-retirement who lost significant pension monies. Then again, they stopped such frivolities a few years before I left and that, combined with poorly-timed unemployment, pretty much scrapped any chance I had to retire assuming I don't win the lottery. Reminds me, I should start playing. they claim ya can't win without entering, or something like that.
ReplyDeleteAt Micro-Inc, where I work now, there ain't no pension and the 401k is scary enough to not be worth it. At least there's benefits, which is why my office is full of Huuge Inc retirees who need benefits that were taken out of their pension/retirement plans. Gotta do whatcha gotta do.
Yup, I hears ya. . .
DeleteGinormous Corp. stopped offering health coverage to retirees just before I got there, and I'm not sure how much of my pension survived the bankruptcy (I'm assuming not much). The 401k is a good one, but I'm starting to get short on time, y'know?
Oh and BTW, at micro Inc we're also 'Resources' rather than people or maybe workers/employees.
ReplyDeletethe one that gets me is the poor guy who got screwed out of not one but TWO pensions. man, that is just horribly wrong.
ReplyDeleteEven at the time, I remember thinking, what's the point of this policy change; it affects exactly ONE person in the entire company. And it's not like it was gonna be some massive outlay of money, either. Why would anyone do such a thing that affects ONE person? I mean, what'd he do to you?
DeleteThat you would still call me "mu friend", after all of the ignoring of you that I've done lately, is touching (or, perhaps, touched, but let's not quibble.) Anyway, you know I'm a sucker for stories of this sort. I want to punch out the people involved in making the decision in story #3, and I don't care how long has passed since then. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Boiling oil, followed by honey and fire ants, would be too good for the bastards.
ReplyDeleteThat should read "my friend", of course, and not "mu friend" (although if you put "mu friend" into Google Images, a whole lot of things show up, so apparently I'm among thousands who have made that typo.)
DeleteWell, my alma mater, having begun its existence as Michigan Agricultural College, has, on occasion, been called 'Moo U' by some of our more, uh, patronizing fellow-citizens.
DeleteIt still boggles my mind that that policy was put in place just in time to screw exactly ONE person. I mean, if all they wanted to do was change the policy, couldn't they have at least waited until the poor guy got safely through? I guess not. . . Boiling oil and fire ants does sound about right. . .
soulless corporations bending over employees for decades. lube not included.
ReplyDeletethen again, i've got at least a book's worth of stories of complete idiocy from my year and a half in a public school that is circling the drain.
sad, just sad.